Sunday, September 23, 2018

bye bye summertime

If I'm being completely honest, this summer wasn't my best. I didn't know what was going on with me, I felt discouraged, overwhelmed, and tired most days. Looking back, I think it was a combitiantion of a bunch of different factors that led to me feeling this way. First of all, what our family went through in May with Jason's cancer scare, probably really took a toll on me, more that I recognized, the stress and the roller coaster of emotions had to have some affect. Also, my best friend moved across the country, it was only a few weeks after the Madsen's moved that Jason ended up in the hospital. Those major events happened just before summer began, and this summer through me for a loop. It was not my first summer with 5 kids home all day, however, it was my first summer with 5 very active kids-last summer Tatum was just a newborn. The older kids had places to be, camps, activities, games, and Briggs was always nowhere to be found. From the second he woke up in the morning (very early I might add) He was constantly trying to get out the door to play with friends, I spent hours each day either chasing him down the street, or trying to figure out which house he wandered into. Gratefullly, we have some really great neighbors who love Briggs and say they like him playing at their house. But I felt like he never listened to me and everyday was some kind of battle. With kids home all day everyday I didn't get much time to myself, to clean, get things done, and I never know when I would get a moments peace. I realize that really that isn't important, but it was an adjustment for me and I had to learn to adapt. Our house wasn't tidy, and I struggled feeling like I wasn't doing a good enough job. I can see now that I was too hard on myself and held myself to expectations that weren't really attainable. I felt guilty for not being a fun, happy mom all the time, and I doubted my capability. But as I look back over our pictures from the summer I see so many happy smily faces and I see our kids having a fun time. There wasn't one major highlight from the summer, but we had a bunch of happy, fun times that made our summer good. I do have to say that in all of this, I felt the love of my Heavenly Father, I had times of clarity, and I knew that Heavenly Father didn't want me to feel this way. He wants me to feel joy, to have fun, and enjoy this beautiful crazy stage of life right now. So I'm doing better and being more aware of my thoughts, I heard the quote, 'enough is a decision, not an amount' and I've decided that I am enough, and what I am doing is enough.

With all that being said, here are some pictures from our summer.

Jaxon's baseball team ended the season with a bang! They took 1st place at a tournament and it's always good to see these boys hard work pay off.

Dallas lost he first tooth this summer. It had been wiggly for weeks and with it came lots of tears, but one day at gymnastics it just popped right out! she was so excited and I felt a little bit sad. Losing teeth means she is growing up and I don't know how much I like that.

One day we loaded up the kayaks and took the kids up to Tibble Fork, the freezing water didn't keep the kids out, they had fun kayaking, throwing rocks, and playing on the beach. This was such a good day.

With 9am church that leaves us lots of extra time, so one Sunday we drove all the way down to Yuba lake to check it out. I didn't get many pictures from our adventure but I love this one of Dallas walking in the sand.

We went to classic skating, the Lindon pool, and spent an evening walking around city creek with Grandma Radawn.

Although I may have made this summer harder on myself than it needed to be, I am grateful for the learning and growing I did experience. I am so incredibly blessed to have these sweet 5 children in our family and I love them more than words can express. It is my hope that they know and feel that each and every day.

Thursday, August 23, 2018


For 3 years now I would have to say our starvation 'camping' trip has been a summer highlight. I have to use the word camping lightly because really our kids have no idea what real camping is like, (sorry, mom and dad just aren't ready for the real thing just yet) but every year we rent an RV and spend a few days with our family and friends on the lake. Our group has been pretty consistent throughout the last three years. We had the Youngs, Viebells, Vonks, and Lunds join us, along with my parents, Radawn, and Scott and Mckenna. This year Heather and Kody and their boys came too and that was fun. We really missed the Madsen's though, and several times each day we would bring up how much they were missed. Looking back I wish I would have been better about taking pictures though, I didn't get many. It could have been because I was busy chasing Tatum and keeping track of Briggs, but next year I will do better. Tatum had so much fun playing in the sand and being loved on by everybody. Briggs loved to ride in Grandpa's boat, and Dallas had so much fun running around playing pretend with the girls her age. Dallas rode the tube a couple times which is pretty huge for her. Lexi got up on the surfboard and rode for the very first time. The day before she got up she tried a few times and wasn't able to get it figured out. I was so proud of her for giving it another shot though, she got out there and got up and said, 'I'm really doing it!' We have it on film and its my favorite. It was a good lesson for her and the rest of us, that just because you try at something and don't catch on right away, you don't give up, give it another try, and who knows, you may just be a surfing queen like our Lexi girl. Jaxon loved hanging out with his buddies Carson and Carlee, they've been friends since they were like 2 and its crazy to see them all grown up and acting like a bunch of pre-teens. Jaxon crushed it at wake surfing but I think what he loved most was when Dad, (without mom's approval) let him ride the jet ski with just Carson. I trust that Jaxon would be safe but still how is our little boy that old he can just ride off on a jet ski with his friend?! I'm not a fan. Its a good thing these trips are so fun because, dang camping is so much work. You pack and load, just to unload and then a few days later you load it all up to drive home, and then unload it al back into the house. exhausting. But the family memories are totally worth it. At least that is what I choose to keep telling myself :)

July 4th

We got home from our St. George trip the day before the 4th of July so we quickly unpacked and then prepped for the party! We had both of our families over for a J Dawg's BBQ. Everyone brought a side to share and we had so much food! One of the many benefits of a large family I guess. I had to laugh when Jaxon sat down across from me with two full plates of food. We played pickle ball, cornhole, and threw water balloons at each other. Once it started to get dark we walked down to the park to enjoy Jason and Scott's annual firework display. Our entire neighborhood, and then some, came out to the park also. We've been doing this for a few years now and I know lots of people look forward to it. One neighbor provided snow cones, and another had patriotic music blasting. Jason loves lighting off fireworks, and I wish I enjoyed it as much as him. I always sigh a huge relief when it is over and nobody got hurt and we didn't light any houses or fields on fire. We ended the night with s'mores out on the deck and had another successful 4th of July bash. Tatum went to bed before the firework display, but that girl was killing me with her cuteness, I had to do a little photoshoot with her in her red, white, and blue. I just love this family of mine and am grateful to live in such a wonderful country. God bless the U.S.A.